Valentin Lebedev
Diary of a Cosmonaut

Victory Day is the brightest holiday of our people. It is dear to everyone through the memory of loved ones who gave their lives for us, who continue to live, to work, and to dream of the future. After breakfast, Shatalov congratulated everyone on the holiday. He noted the businesslike working atmosphere that prevails at the site, wished us to maintain it going forward so as to successfully carry out the flight that opens the road for future crews to Salyut-7. You can feel that everyone is mobilized to help us prepare as well as possible for the work.

I like the new head of the medical directorate, Ivan Aleksandrovich — a calm, likeable person who genuinely worries about us. Since he took over, there’s been less nervousness in the doctors’ work.

Tolya and I stowed our personal belongings and photographs of our loved ones aboard our transport ship, so that in difficult days they would be with us. After all, a single glance at the people you love is enough for a wave of feelings to rise in your soul and generate a surge of resistance against whatever hardships you face. They love you, believe in you, and are proud of you — and you cannot let them down; that would be a betrayal. Clench your teeth, set the whimpering of your soul aside, drive out the rotten thoughts, and remember that your crewmate is in the same position.

I thought about life. For young people, it sometimes seems less fraught with problems than their parents’ lives. Everyone has family, loved ones; everyone is provided with the essentials. The future is clear too — study, work, a family; in short, life. Without any particularly sharp problems. This view of life breeds a carefree attitude toward oneself. Enjoy yourself more, take pleasure in things; the rest, supposedly, will come with time — everything a mature person needs. Perhaps, but that is simply life. There is also the joy of life, the striving toward one’s dream, its fulfillment. And the one who achieves it will be the one who, at home, at school, at work, is constantly searching for himself, working on himself, laboring, proving himself. In this lies the meaning of a person’s life, his value to people, to society. Therefore, the more beautiful and prosperous life becomes, the harder it is to maintain the atmosphere of moral and social upbringing, and, strange as it may seem, difficulties arise from abundance and even from education, which by itself does not guarantee high consciousness, culture, or a conscientious attitude toward work, and is not infrequently a fertile ground for opportunists. And how important it is that recognition truly comes to worthy people, to workers who care about the cause and are able to organize it. Because they are the ones who constitute the authority and strength of our society.

While sitting and working through contingency procedures, I turned on the television, where they were showing the International Panorama, hosted by Gerasimov, the political commentator. It was devoted to the problem that worries everyone — preventing a third world war. And there in Washington, our correspondent asks people on the street how they feel about the official U.S. position that the USSR poses a danger of starting a nuclear war. I was struck by the words of an ordinary American woman, old enough to be my mother, who said she was ashamed of her government’s aggressive policy, that one should not forget that America was the first to use the atomic bomb in war against a civilian population, and that one should not expect danger from the Soviet Union, which endured so much in the last war and suffered so many casualties — the danger of nuclear war comes from the United States itself.

After lunch I napped for an hour — felt wonderful! Then I studied some more. At 18:00 there was a minute of silence; Tolya, Zhenya, and I stood and honored the memory of the fallen. And I silently pledged to carry out the mission with honor, to bring all my knowledge, experience, and will to bear so as not to let down everyone who believes in me, and whom I believe in.

In the evening, from 7 to 8:30 PM, we played tennis, and then sat in the steam room with Shatalov and talked about the flight. I went to bed a bit earlier today.